“Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself”. –Desiderata by Max Ehrmann
New Years is my favorite holiday. I fuck up a lot in life, so any blank slate where I can start over is much appreciated. In my younger years, I would spend New Years Eve in a typical fashion of drinking too much and welcoming the New Year at the bar surrounded by a few friends, some acquaintances and many strangers. As I got older and out of the bar scene, I appreciated New Years Eve as a quiet night with a few friends or just my husband. The low key celebration provided me space to give the universe thanks for the blessings of the previous year, to contemplate on the (numerous) errors I had made, and to plan ahead so that in the upcoming year I could do better and be better in whatever I chose to focus my intentions.
With the passing of my mom in October, I was overwhelmed in many different ways. In addition to the grief, I got behind in work, in my private practice and felt (and still feel) unbalanced in daily life. I recognized that self compassion was going to be a key component in my healing. At that time, I made a resolution to practice self compassion.
One of the pieces of self compassion that I chose to follow was to not set too many expectations for myself. At this time, setting New Years Resolutions would be too much for me and I would fail them all miserably (not setting yourself up for failure is one of the nice benefits of self compassion).
My other self compassion resolutions are:
- Saying “no” without giving explanation
- Reading for leisure at least 15 minutes a day
- Practicing art (knitting, spinning, sewing, crocheting) at least 15 minutes a day
- Being okay if my self compassion practices aren’t as consistent or as well executed as I would like
School starts up again in a couple of weeks, so I decided to knit one more project before focusing on my syllabi and lectures. After looking through my yarn stash, I decided on the “Fuck the Cold” hat. It has been a fun knit, but I find that I am knitting too tight and I probably should have gone up a needle size. It will be a fun hat to give as a white elephant gift next holiday season.