Leigh Corfman is the lady that Roy Moore sexually assaulted when she was a child of 14 year old. Corfman came forward 30+ years later when Moore was at his most vulnerable politically and was likely a major part of him losing the election. I am glad that she did not “forgive” him and “let it go”, as many people said she should. Rather, she found her voice, channeled her anger and was able to destroy his reputation as a politician (as he destroyed her innocence as a teenager).
Forgiveness as a vehicle to happiness is a tenet of our Judeo Christian society. It has been engrained into us since we were young. Jesus forgave us, we should forgive others etc.
The lie that forgiveness is the way to happiness can cause as much trauma for victims as the assault itself. Victims of sexual assault often feel disempowered and embarrassed. When forgiveness is asked of them and they are unable to to give it, many see it as another shortcoming and the cycle of feeling like a failure continues.
In addition, forgiveness is often used by the perpetrator as a way to justify their actions, thinking that asking for forgiveness and forgiving themselves is a way of absolving them of their guilt.
As a society we should never tell a victim of sexual assault how they should feel or that they should forgive their perpetrator. What we should do is support them by normalizing and validating whatever feelings they have toward the assault.
I am glad that Leigh Corfman and all women in the #metoo movement have found their voice. I support any victim in getting revenge on their perpetrator, if they so choose. For those who say that exacting revenge is wrong, I say that you have no right to tell a victim of sexual assault how to deal with their trauma or the feelings that come with it.
I am working on a pair of socks, they will most likely take a while as school starts back up tomorrow and I am teaching seven classes. The color the yarn is stunning! I can’t wait to see them when they are finished.